What is up with Hallmark?
I’ve never been a huge fan of the whole ‘card’ thing. I mean, I see the point in the occasional purpose driven card (i.e. ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘get well soon’ cards), but your classic ‘today is a capitalist gift giving holiday so here is a card to accompany your gift’ cards just seems pointless to me. The only thing I like less than giving cards, is having to pick them out. That’s not to say that I’m simply unwilling to spend the time to find a good one, because that’s not it at all. I just find it nearly impossible to find a card that can just say ‘happy [insert holiday or occasion here]‘ without making it out to be the sappiest, most significant event in your entire life. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Hallmark Store before, but it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Now I’m a pretty straight forward guy. When I want food, I shop at a grocery store. When I want electronics, I shop at Fry’s. When I want cheap furniture that breaks after two weeks, I shop at Ikea. When I want to hate life and rip all my hair out, I shop at Walmart. And when I want cards, I shop at Hallmark. Makes sense right? A store that sells nothing but cards should have enough of a selection that I could find a decent one, or so I thought.
What is up with Hallmark? Why does every single card sound like it was written between Romeo and his beloved Juliet? Are people really buying these things? Ok, it would be one thing if you were using the card to confess your undying love to the woman of your dreams or somethinglike that, but when it’s just someone’s birthday you don’t need some elaborate statement about how your life is only worth living because you know the person. Birthday’s happen every year. Log into Facebook or Myspace. They’re happening every day. They’re not really that important. I don’t even like celebrating mine.
It usually takes me thirty minutes or more to pick out a card when I walk into a Hallmark and the problem isn’t that it takes that long to find a card that says enough. It’s almost always because I can’t find a card that doesn’t say too much. Is it really too much to ask for to get a little section of cards that just say ‘hey buddy, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday’ or maybe a stupid little joke? Why turn everything into an extravaganza?
posted by Christopher Schnese
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"Why turn everything into an extravaganza?" to be honest i think thats the goal of the whole organization. No one ever commits to anything, or takes any risks anymore, hell most people use the internet and the aninimity it brings to persue their own intrests. Because no one takes any risks no one feels good about learning something, or being a part of something anymore. since people dont take risk they dont get reward. This leads to a lack of emotional satisfaction in their lives, which sometimes shows as the need to create meaningless drama (which im sure we have all seen too many times). When people recieve a card, even a card which has no real purpose other than to have you purchase it, gives some people a sense of heppiness that someone genuinely cared, someone took a risk and put themselves out there for something, regardless of how small or meaningless. That really makes some people happy, especially the ones with emotional issues.
so, while i agree with you and think this whole thing is a crock of shit, i do believe that there is a solid purpose to it all.
oh and btw hi albedo, its been a long time. whatcha been up to?
I've gotta be honest, I was wondering where you were going there for a bit in the beginning of that, but I kind of see what your saying. Maybe I'm just different than most people. I feel like a card that says way more than it's supposed to is disingenuous and cheapens what you're trying to say.
If you really do care about someone then you should write something yourself. The card shouldn't convey the message for you. it should be simple, cute, or funny. A card should be accessible to anyone who might pick it up, not just star crossed lovers.
oh and btw, it's going. A LOT of work and that's pretty much it. How have you been Dumpus?
(…and it's JBiC ('Jay-Bic') now. I haven't gone by Albedo in a long while)
I'm with you on this – totally! (and sorry it's a couple of days late, but not been checking as regularly as I might).
I hate when you see a half-way passable card, then open it up and see all the flowery verse which you really DON'T want to say. "Marry Christmas to the most wonderful husband in the whole world" – pass the sick bucket please!
I try and go for the ones that are blank inside – and write my own message – I struggle to come up with more than "Happy Birthday to x" or "Best Wishes" but at least it says what I mean, rather than what hallmark think I SHOULD be feeling..
Albedo eh? Can we call you Al?
Yeah, I was never very good at writing more than "happy whatever" in a blank card either.
And the Albedo thing is a long story. I wasn't always JBiC. I was once Albedo Piasora. But that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
I actually remember you explaining that name once upon a time (also a long time ago) – but it's so long ago I have forgotten … I'm sure it was a boring story anyway so don't feel you have to tell it again…
"Happy Thanksgiving" then – I wonder, do Hallmark make Thanksgiving cards…. ? (I'm only joking!)